Wait a minute! Something is not right here…
Why is this jungle Asian woman blabbering about leftover Chinese men aka single dogs when the media had been notoriously popularizing the phenomena of leftover Chinese women all this while?
According to population statistics (always trust the numbers), Chinese men outnumber Chinese women by 33 million people. Due to implementation of the one-child-policy decades ago, Chinese couples had been practicing gender selective pregnancies that favor male progenies over female progenies hence the number tallied. It made perfect sense to practical Chinese couples because men are physically stronger so they serve as better providers to aging Chinese parents. Not everyone in China are entitled to retirement pension or free healthcare. Often, this number gets blown out of proportion when dealing with 1.3 billion people.
Moreover, Neo-Confucian principles emphasizes that a woman’s greatest achievement is to produce a son. *Don’t say that I didn’t warn you beforehand when your future Chinese mother-in-law blames you for not giving her a grandson. Note that Confucian philosophy is not perfect and has a dual perspective effect on the lives of Chinese people depending on the context of interpretation.
Then, why leftover Chinese women are much more overrated compared to leftover Chinese men?
It is a propaganda created by the Communist Chinese government, usually headed by cunning Chinese men to trap capable Chinese women into marriage by instilling fear of waning beauty, childlessness and lonely old age. Chinese people realized that they have severely screwed up the system by playing God but at the same time they also needed more people (slaves) to support the rapidly aging population. In addition to bride stealing from Northern Vietnam, North Korea and to a lesser extend Northern Myanmar, they also resorted to shaming local Chinese women in hopes of reducing bride prices… Nice try!
Chinese women suffer from a lot of bad press thanks to resourceful Chinese men. Men are cheapskates and love discounts too if they can get away with it. Don’t settle if you’re going to regret your decision later. From studying the mating behaviors of budgerigar, one will notice that the female bird refuse to mate unless the male bird provides a nest. However, in reality, due to property price hikes, many modern men are unable to provide decent accommodation yet they are pressured by society to get married. These clever men now expect women to work so that women get a taste of fair share in providing. If women refuse the offer due to higher bargaining power resulting from gender inequality ratio, they will then be labeled as materialistic.
Like women in all myriads of society, the lives of Chinese women too are played out like chess pawns at the mercy of players. Some parents deliberately discourage Chinese women from performing too well academically for fear of repelling potential suitors. It doesn’t help when the society at large conspire to undermine women’s earning potential by not implementing equal salary for equal work. These women had no choice but to get married out of survival instincts. Unfortunately, it led to more marriages of convenience in China rather than love marriages which explain the high incidences of mental illnesses. Children conceived out of resentment unconsciously create more problems in their attempts to mask insecurities while questioning their reason for existence.
Some leftover Chinese men with bruised or inflated ego think they can outsmart the system by marrying foreigners especially Caucasian women in order to redeem their self-esteem after being rejected by Chinese women. These Chinese men who are initially flabbergasted at the prospects of dual citizenships, mixed children, peer respects and various other privileges often end up paying more for IVF procedures. In order to cover up their embarrassments, again Chinese women become the target of their ridicules. Women have other but often denied options as well such as serving as nuns in temples.
Even citizens of Communist countries are susceptible to the consequences of capitalism. A price to pay for industrialization is the lost of humanity. Rather than suffering in silence with unnecessary emotional pain, it could be a blessing in disguise to have an honest and open discussion with those considered tactless. Subjecting elderly Chinese mothers to undeserving contempt often out of misunderstanding and failure to communicate effectively is likened to sentencing a court case without trial. It’s important to own our shit unless resolving an issue is never the goal. Relationship has always been a complicated terrain to navigate. Ironically, it is not an innate skill and neither is relationship school available at the click of a button.